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Setting Intentions for the New Year: Dreaming With Purpose, Moving With Care

Sat, 03 Jan 2026 21:38:08 GMT

The start of a new year often arrives carrying a quiet question:
How do I want to live this next chapter of my life?

Before the goals, before the lists, before the pressure to “do more,” there is an invitation to pause. Setting intentions is about beginning from a place of honesty and alignment, not urgency. It asks us to tune into what we need, what we’re ready for, and what we’re no longer willing to carry forward.

An intention is not a demand.
It’s a direction.

Why Intentions Matter

Intentions act as an internal compass. While goals focus on outcomes, intentions focus on how we want to feel, show up, and move through the world. They ground us when life feels unpredictable and help us make decisions that honor our values.

When intentions lead the way:

We choose alignment over burnout
We respond instead of react
We measure progress by peace, clarity, and sustainability—not just productivity

Intentions give meaning to our actions. They remind us why we’re moving forward, even when the path isn’t linear.

The Role of Goal Setting

Once intentions are clear, goal setting becomes supportive rather than overwhelming.

Healthy goal setting isn’t about pushing harder—it’s about translating intention into action in ways that respect our capacity. Goals provide structure. They help us break big dreams into manageable steps and give us landmarks to return to when motivation fades.

Intentions answer the question:
Who do I want to be this year?

Goals answer the question:
What small, realistic steps can support that vision?

When goals are rooted in intention, they feel less like obligations and more like acts of self-trust.

Vision Boards: A Tool for Clarity and Possibility

Vision boards are more than collages. They are visual reflections of our inner world—our hopes, values, desires, and longings.

Using a vision board as part of your intention-setting process can:

Make abstract dreams feel tangible
Engage both logic and creativity
Keep your intentions visible and present
Help you reconnect to what matters when doubt creeps in

Vision boards don’t need to be perfect or artistic. What matters is resonance. The images, words, and symbols you choose should speak to how you want your life to feel, not how it looks on the outside.

A vision board becomes a quiet companion—reminding you of your intentions when life gets loud.

Bringing It All Together

When intentions, goals, and vision boards work together, they create a powerful foundation:

Intentions ground you in purpose
Goals offer structure and direction
Vision boards keep your dreams visible and alive

This isn’t about controlling the year ahead. It’s about entering it with clarity, compassion, and choice.

A Gentle Reminder as You Begin

You don’t need to have everything figured out.
You don’t need to rush your growth.
You don’t need to become someone else to move forward.

You are allowed to dream in ways that protect your peace.
You are allowed to set goals that honor your energy.
You are allowed to move at the pace of healing.

As you step into the new year, may your intentions be rooted in care, your goals be shaped with kindness, and your vision reflect the life you are ready to receive.

Begin gently. Begin honestly. Begin with intention.

The Hidden Effects of Loneliness on Mind & Body

Fri, 29 Aug 2025 02:09:25 GMT

The Hidden Effects of Loneliness on Mind and Body

Loneliness isn’t just an emotion that lingers in the background. It’s not “all in your head.” When left unacknowledged, loneliness can ripple through every part of your being—mind, body, and spirit. Understanding these effects isn’t about scaring yourself; it’s about shining a light on what loneliness really does, so you can meet it with compassion and practical tools.

Loneliness and the Body

Eating Habits Shift

When loneliness sets in, it often changes how we eat. For some, the appetite disappears. For others, food becomes a comfort, leading to overeating or binge eating. Neither response is about discipline or weakness—it’s your body trying to soothe emotional pain.

Recovery Win: Before you reach for food (or before you skip it), pause and ask: “Am I hungry for nourishment, or am I hungry for comfort?” This gentle question creates space for awareness and kinder choices.

Inflammation Increases

Science tells us that loneliness actually triggers inflammation in the body. Why? Because in ancient times, being isolated meant danger. Our bodies developed survival mechanisms, one of which was inflammation—preparing us to fight off harm. While that made sense for our ancestors, today it simply leaves us feeling achy, fatigued, or unwell.

Recovery Win: Care for your body through daily anti-stress rituals: stretch, hydrate, breathe deeply, or step outside for sunlight. Even five minutes can signal safety to your nervous system.

Heart Health at Risk

Loneliness weighs on the heart in more ways than one. Research has linked prolonged isolation to higher risks of heart disease and shorter lifespans. That old phrase, “dying of a broken heart,” isn’t just poetic—it carries truth.

Recovery Win: Protect your heart with connection rhythms. Call or text one trusted person each week. Even short, consistent check-ins remind your heart: “I am not alone.”

Stress Compounds

Loneliness and stress feed off each other in a vicious cycle. When we feel disconnected, our stress hormones spike. And when stress rises, reaching out feels harder. The result? A loop that deepens the ache of isolation.

Recovery Win: Practice grounding. Place your hand over your chest, take three slow breaths, and whisper: “I am here. I am safe. This moment will pass.” Grounding helps break the cycle.

Loneliness and the Mind

Thought Cycles

Loneliness has a way of amplifying negative thoughts. Suddenly, “I feel disconnected” turns into “Nobody cares about me” or “I’ll always be alone.” But here’s the truth: those thoughts are symptoms, not facts.

Recovery Win: Reframe the thought. When you notice “I’m unloved,” counter it with: “This is a lonely moment, not a lonely life.”

Depression

Not everyone who feels lonely develops depression, but loneliness can make depression more likely. It shows up as sadness, lack of motivation, or withdrawing from activities you once enjoyed. Recognizing these signs early is key.

Recovery Win: Create a wellness toolkit. Write down three things you can turn to when low moods strike—a grounding walk, a song that lifts your spirit, a safe person to call. Keep your toolkit close.

Alcohol and Substances

Sometimes, loneliness tempts us to numb the pain with alcohol or substances. While it may bring temporary relief, it deepens disconnection over time.

Recovery Win: Replace numbing with nurturing. When the urge arises, pour into yourself instead—make tea, take a warm shower, or write down three things you’re grateful for.

Social Withdrawal

The longer loneliness lingers, the easier it becomes to withdraw from others. You might start ignoring texts or canceling plans. This only deepens the cycle.

Recovery Win: Choose one safe, low-pressure person to connect with. It doesn’t have to be a deep conversation—sometimes a “thinking of you” text is enough to disrupt the isolation.

Energy and Focus Drop

Loneliness can sap your creativity and lower your motivation. Suddenly, everyday tasks feel like climbing mountains.

Recovery Win: Set one small daily goal—something simple but achievable, like making your bed, stepping outside, or writing one sentence in a journal. Each small win builds momentum.

Bringing It Together

Loneliness impacts the whole self. It’s not a weakness—it’s a signal. Your body aches because it longs for care. Your mind spirals because it longs for connection. Your spirit feels heavy because it longs for belonging.

The good news? Every effect of loneliness can be softened with awareness and small acts of self-compassion. You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. You only need to begin with one gentle step.

✨ Recovery Win for Today:

Pause and ask yourself: “How is loneliness showing up in my body right now?” Write down three ways you notice it—physically, mentally, emotionally.

Awareness is the first step to healing.

The Weight Was Never Yours: A Healing Invitation for Black Women

site-mIJkzA — Fri, 25 Jul 2025 19:57:20 GMT

For generations, Black women have been expected to carry it all.

The trauma .

The silence.

The expectations.

The roles we never chose but felt obligated to play—caretaker, fixer, strong one, the one who holds it all together. We carry ancestral pain in our bones and society’s projections on our backs. And somewhere along the way, we were made to believe that was just our burden to bear.

But what if I told you: The weight was never yours?

I created this space—and my eBook and course of the same name—as an offering. A homecoming. A place to breathe and begin again.

The Weight Was Never Yours: Releasing, Rising, Reclaiming is a self-guided healing journey rooted in my own lived experience. It’s for every Black woman who has ever felt unseen, unheard, or unworthy. Through gentle reflection, guided practices, and unapologetic truth-telling, we will unlearn the lies we’ve been fed, reconnect with our bodies, and reclaim our joy.

This isn’t about fixing yourself. You were never broken.

This is about returning to yourself—your full, sacred self—and finally putting down what was never meant to be yours in the first place.

Whether you’re just beginning to explore your healing or you’ve been on this journey for years, you are welcome here.

We rise together.

We heal together.

We reclaim together.

Trust and Confidence Go Hand In Hand

site-mIJkzA — Wed, 04 Dec 2024 02:46:07 GMT

Building Confidence, and Learning to Trusting Yourself Through Challenges

Trusting yourself can feel like an impossible feat, especially if you've faced challenges that have shaken your foundation. I know this firsthand. There was a time in my life when I struggled deeply with suicidal thoughts, navigated the uncertainty of homelessness, and wrestled with the grip of addiction. Trusting myself seemed like a distant dream when I was simply trying to survive.

But here’s what I’ve learned: trust and confidence are intertwined. You can’t develop trust in yourself without building confidence first. Confidence is the anchor that keeps you steady when life’s storms threaten to pull you under. It allows you to feel secure in your abilities and stand strong in your convictions—even when your world feels unstable.

Building confidence might seem overwhelming, especially if, like me, you’ve faced circumstances that made you doubt your worth. But know this: no one is born with confidence. It’s something we all learn and grow into over time. If I could find a way to start developing confidence while at rock bottom, so can you.

Fear: The Biggest Barrier

Fear was one of my greatest challenges. It whispered lies, telling me I wasn’t good enough, that my past defined me, and that I’d fail if I tried to move forward. Fear thrives in uncertainty and darkness, but I discovered that every small step I took toward the light diminished its power.

Facing fear doesn’t mean throwing caution to the wind. It’s about assessing what you can do, even in small, manageable steps, and doing it despite your fear. For me, that started with trusting myself to show up one day at a time—whether it was getting out of bed, showing up to a support group, or admitting when I needed help.

Confidence Is Built, Not Born

When you’ve been through life’s hardest moments, it’s easy to believe confidence is for other people—people who haven’t faced what you’ve faced. But the truth is, confidence comes from showing up for yourself, even in small ways. It’s about trying, failing, and learning without letting fear stop you.

Start small. For me, it was choosing to believe that I could make it through just one more day. Then one more week. Small victories build momentum, and before you know it, those small steps lead to bigger achievements.

Confidence isn’t about knowing all the answers—it’s about believing you can figure them out. Ask questions, seek guidance, and lean on others when you need to. I learned that confidence isn’t about doing it all alone; it’s about knowing when and how to ask for help.

Owning Your Journey

When I began to take responsibility for my choices—both the good and the bad—something shifted. Blaming others or external circumstances for my struggles didn’t help me move forward. But owning my story, my decisions, and my path did. Even when things didn’t work out the way I hoped, the act of taking ownership helped me trust myself more.

Trusting yourself doesn’t mean you’ll always get it right. It means knowing that you’ll figure it out, even when you stumble. It’s about forgiving yourself when you make mistakes and recognizing that those mistakes are part of the growth process.

Building Trust Through Confidence

When you build your confidence, trust in yourself naturally follows. You’ll begin to see yourself as capable and resilient, no matter what challenges you face. I’m living proof of this. There were times I didn’t believe I’d make it through the day, let alone trust myself to make decisions or pursue a better life. But step by step, I learned to believe in my ability to heal, grow, and thrive.

You have the strength to do the same. Start small. Face your fears one by one. Take responsibility for your journey and remember that confidence and trust aren’t destinations—they’re ongoing practices. With each step forward, you’ll discover that you’re capable of far more than you ever imagined.

What Is Self-Care and Why Do You Need It

site-mIJkzA — Mon, 28 Oct 2024 15:12:11 GMT

We cannot pour from empty vessels

What Is Self-Care and Why Do You Need It

As an individual who is long-term recovery, the need for self-care is detrimental to my staying healthy and productive. According to most experts, there are at least eight areas of self-care that you need to keep in mind. The categories below will help you optimize each life-area throughout your lifetime. Whether you are part of a large family or not, it’s important to value and care for yourself, just as you would care for a friend or family member.

· Physical – To care for yourself physically, eat healthy meals and snacks, and exercise daily. Also, practice good sleep habits and basic hygiene. Schedule time to take care of yourself by doing physical activities that energize you and make you happy.

· Psychological – Self-care for your mind is important since your mind has a prolific influence on every part of your life. Participate in activities that mentally stimulate you, such as taking photos, playing strategic board games, and activities that use develop your problem-solving skills. The more self-care you give your mind now, the longer and healthier you will be as you age.

· Emotional – Maintaining your emotional health is important throughout your life. Maintaining healthy emotions helps you function effectively and stabilize your personal energy. Learn to develop, understand, and control your emotions by using self-care strategies to address your individual needs, such as deep breathing, accepting your feelings, journaling about your feelings, etc.

· Social – When people are deprived of making connections and interacting with others, especially in childhood, it can lead to a variety of long-term health issues. For this reason, it’s important to incorporate social self-care strategies to interact with others and form healthy relationships on a regular basis for a happy, healthy, fulfilled life.

· Professional – Workplace self-care often includes your physical and mental health since it affects your performance and the people around you. However, it also includes workplace related development that’s specific to your job. When you don’t care for yourself, not only do you suffer but your team and the business may suffer as well. Take a few minutes for self-care when needed at work.

· Environmental – Decluttering your home, workplace, and your mind is important to your productivity level. When you don’t clean the clutter, it can cause you to feel stressed and anxious, which can lead to more serious problems.

· Spiritual – Spiritual self-care can result in a wide range of health benefits. When you practice some form of spiritual self-care you tend to have a more balanced life. This type of self-care helps to deepen your connection with our higher self or higher being. It also helps you to manage emotions, make good choices, and appreciate others.

· Financial – People who do not practice financial self-care tend to lose or waste money. Financial self-care practices help you buy and sell more wisely by being more responsible with your money. You need to know the source of your money and where it’s going when it’s spent. This enables you to set smart goals for yourself in the short-term and in the long-term.

While self-care can seem challenging at times, you are the only one who knows what you want and need. You are also the only one who has control over your thoughts and actions. Because of this, you take better care of yourself than anyone else.

What Is Peer Support

Mon, 24 Jul 2023 17:26:10 GMT

Reaching out to others in a nonjudgmental way

Peer support services have become increasingly important in recent years as a way for people to access information, resources, or even assistance from other individuals who have experienced similar circumstances. Peer support can provide a wide range of emotional and practical support to those in need, enabling them to feel understood and not alone during difficult times.

Peer support has been found to be extremely beneficial for several different reasons. First, it offers individuals the chance to receive support and advice from someone who has experienced the same issues in their own life. This provides a more personalized experience that can make it easier for individuals to express their feelings, needs, and frustrations. Secondly, access to a network of individuals who understand can provide hope and empowerment to those in need.

This type of support is widely available in the form of support groups, Warm Lines, and online forums. Support groups are one of the most popular forms of peer support available and typically consist of small groups of individuals who have all been through similar experiences. These groups provide a safe space for sharing and discussion and encourage participant accountability and motivation. Warm Lines are another popular form of peer support, providing callers with free and unbiased advice from trained professionals. Last, online forums allow individuals to ask questions, find resources, and get advice from other peers in a virtual setting.

Peer support services can be beneficial for a variety of mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, substance use, and PTSD. These services offer a great opportunity for individuals to access the tools and resources needed to manage their mental health. Furthermore, peer support can provide a sense of community and solidarity, as well as help to dispel some of the negative stereotypes surrounding mental health issues.

In conclusion, peer support provides an invaluable service to the community. It offers a personalized form of support that allows individuals to access advice, resources, and even a community of peers who have experienced similar issues. Peer support services can be extremely beneficial for individuals facing a range of mental health issues, increasing access to quality information and resources while improving overall mental well-being.

How Avoidance Actually Creates More Stress

Mon, 22 May 2023 02:25:56 GMT

When you have an especially difficult or stressful task on your plate, it can be very tempting to avoid completing said task. Or if you don’t like to think about a subject because of an experience, it can seem easier to just not think about that topic. Both of these situations are known as avoidance, and though it may be tempting to engage in this behavior, it causes more stress than it relieves.

You Won’t Stop Thinking About It

If you’ve ever experienced trauma, it can be tempting to avoid all thoughts of things that may remind you of the trauma you experienced. Although this may be less painful in the short run, the truth is, long term, this will stress you out more because the thoughts of your trauma will always return until you genuinely learn to deal with them rather than avoid them. We have to work through the painfulness. The same holds for certain physical tasks. You may put them off because you don’t want to think about them, but this will only stress you out more because you will have to keep thinking about the task instead of simply completing it now.

You’ll Run Out Of Time

When you put off a task, you may momentarily relieve your stress by telling yourself you will complete the task later. But this is worse than doing the job now because later you will experience more pressure as you are faced with a fast-approaching deadline. This is especially true if you haven’t left yourself enough time to complete the task and have to rush at the last minute.

Avoidance Creates Conflict

Maybe a coworker is waiting for you to complete your work so they can get started on theirs. And if you didn’t leave yourself enough time before the deadline, you may cause them to be late on meeting their deadline as well. This can cause a conflict between you as your coworker may be upset that you made them late. And when you experience conflict in your relationships, this only adds to your overall stress level rather than lowering it.

Although it can be extremely tempting to avoid certain tasks or put them off, this is a flawed approach as it will only cause you more stress in the long run. This is because avoidance doesn’t solve any problems. Instead, it just creates conflict, which leads to increased stress in the future.

5 Techniques to Help You Relax More

Tue, 25 Apr 2023 18:57:24 GMT

Learn more about relaxation and techniques for slowing down.

In American culture, relaxation is considered a luxury, something only those privileged enough to have sufficient resources get to enjoy. However, relaxation is actually an important contributor to our mental and physical health. When we don’t allow ourselves to take time to unwind, the harmful effects of daily stressors begin to accumulate and can contribute to psychological and physical maladies like depression, memory loss, heart disease, stroke, and diabetes (just to name a few). Relaxing gives our bodies and minds a chance to recover from stress and live our best lives.

Physiologically, relaxation is the activation of our parasympathetic nervous system. This activation slows our heart rate, lowers our blood pressure, reduces muscle tone, slows our breathing, and prepares our bodies for rest and rejuvenation. Luckily, there are a number of ways we can activate our parasympathetic nervous systems and help our bodies recover from the damages of our stressful lives.

Here are a few examples:

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) is a technique that helps us learn what it feels like when our muscles are tense versus when they are relaxed so that we can notice the tension when we are stressed out and willfully release it (Cawthorn & Mackereth, 2010).

In general, the steps to PMR are the following:

Minimize distractions and interruptions (i.e. turn off your cell phone and find a quiet place).
Lie down and make yourself as comfortable as possible.
Begin with 1 muscle group, such as your feet. Inhale as you tighten the muscles in your feet and hold for 6-10 seconds then relax and exhale for 6-10 seconds. Be sure not to squeeze so hard that you cause cramping or discomfort.
Repeat this step once more before moving on to another muscle group (such as the calves).
Repeat steps 3 and 4 as you work your way up your body through different muscle groups (feet, calves, thighs, abdomen, hands, arms, back, then face).

Meditation

Meditation has been used as a relaxation tool for centuries and the current body of research supporting the positive benefits of meditation is immense. Some of the observed effects of meditation include slower heart rate, muscle relaxation, increased cerebral blood flow, increased production of melatonin, and greater activation of brain regions associated with non-verbal, intuitive, and spatial processing (Perez-De-Albeniz & Holmes, 2000). There are many kinds of meditation and different people will benefit differently from each, so it might be helpful to try out more than one kind to see what works best for you.

Massage

Massage is often viewed as a particularly indulgent luxury, but studies show it’s a highly effective therapeutic technique. For example, massage has been associated with reductions in pain and anxiety, and improvements in mood, relaxation, and sleep in patient populations (Dreyer et al., 2015; Jane et al., 2011).

There are many forms of massage therapy, and each form is suited for different needs. For example, if your goal is simply relaxation, a Swedish massage might be best for you. Whereas if you are in need of pain relief, a deep-tissue massage could be the way to go. Before scheduling a massage session, it might be helpful to check out what your options are and discuss what type of massage will best meet your needs with your massage therapist.

Yoga

Yoga is another highly effective relaxation technique that has been in practice for centuries (De Benedittis, 2015). Yoga is sometimes used as exercise, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be. Often, yoga functions more as a moving meditation, giving your mind a specific focus to help quiet the internal chatter as you become absorbed in synchronizing your movements with your breath.

Research has shown that yoga can help reduce pulse rate, and blood pressure, both of which are important physiological changes for relaxation (Jain et al., 2010). Yoga has also been shown to reduce other physiological symptoms of stress such as inflammation and the production of stress hormones (Ross & Thomas, 2010).

Music and Sounds

Listening to music is also well-documented as a helpful therapeutic technique for reducing stress. For example, listening to music has been shown to affect aspects of your physiology such as lowering your heart rate, reducing blood pressure, and limiting stress hormone levels (de Witte et al., 2022).

The neural mechanisms by which music improves mood, relaxation, and well-being are not well understood. One possibility involves the synchronization of our bodies and our brain activity with musical qualities such as rhythm and tempo (Kim et al., 2018). For example, you’ve probably noticed yourself involuntarily tapping your foot to the beat when listening to a song. This phenomenon is known as “entrainment” and is essentially the rhythm of the music influencing the rhythmic activity within your motor system.

Summary

In today’s fast-paced and often stressful world, taking time to relax is more important than ever. Without allowing our parasympathetic nervous system to take over for a little bit and give our bodies a break from the damaging effects of prolonged stress, we can end up exhausted, depressed, and even physically ill. There are many effective techniques for unwinding and reducing stress that can be simple to incorporate into our daily lives. Regardless of the relaxation method you choose, it is important to use it regularly, especially if you have many stressors in your life.

References

● Cawthorn, A., & Mackereth, P. A. (Eds.). (2010). Integrative hypnotherapy: complementary approaches in clinical care. Elsevier Health Sciences.

● De Benedittis, G. (2015). Neural mechanisms of hypnosis and meditation. Journal of Physiology Paris, 109(4–6), 152–164.

● de Witte, M., Pinho, A. da S., Stams, G. J., Moonen, X., Bos, A. E. R., & van Hooren, S. (2022). Music therapy for stress reduction: a systematic review and meta-analysis. Health Psychology Review, 16(1), 134–159.

● Dreyer, N. E., Cutshall, S. M., Huebner, M., Foss, D. M., Lovely, J. K., Bauer, B. A., & Cima, R. R. (2015). Effect of massage therapy on pain, anxiety, relaxation, and tension after colorectal surgery: A randomized study. Complementary Therapies in Clinical Practice, 21(3), 154–159.

● Jain, S., Jain, M., & Sharma, C. S. (2010). Effect of yoga and relaxation techniques on cardiovascular system. Indian Journal of Physiology and Pharmacology, 54(2), 183–185.

● Jane, S. W., Chen, S. L., Wilkie, D. J., Lin, Y. C., Foreman, S. W., Beaton, R. D., Fan, J. Y., Lu, M. Y., Wang, Y. Y., Lin, Y. H., & Liao, M. N. (2011). Effects of massage on pain, mood status, relaxation, and sleep in Taiwanese patients with metastatic bone pain: A randomized clinical trial. Pain, 152(10), 2432–2442.

● Kim, S., Gäbel, C., Aguilar-Raab, C., Hillecke, T. K., & Warth, M. (2018). Affective and autonomic response to dynamic rhythmic entrainment: Mechanisms of a specific music therapy factor. The Arts in Psychotherapy, 60, 48–54.

● Perez-De-Albeniz, A., & Holmes, J. (2000). Meditation: concepts, effects and uses in therapy. International Journal of Psychotherapy, 5(1), 49–58.

● Ross, A., & Thomas, S. (2010). The health benefits of yoga and exercise: A review of comparison studies. Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, 16(1), 3–12.

How To Build Good Habits

Fri, 07 Apr 2023 15:34:13 GMT

Multiple Strategies To Build Good Habits and Tips To Break Bad Habits

Habits have been described as repeated actions that arise from some kind of internal or external trigger (Robbins & Costa, 2017). Often, these habits exist in particular contexts. For example, Billy might have a habit of smoking a cigarette when he drinks alcohol. Sharon might have a habit of brushing her teeth before bed. And Mark might have a habit of biting his nails when he’s nervous.

Habits—both good and bad—are closely related to our goals. Since habits are just things we do regularly, they can contribute to —or deter us from—achieving the things we want to achieve. That’s why building good habits—and perhaps getting rid of some bad ones—is so important for building the lives we want to lead. So what are some good habits to build?

Habits of Highly Effective People

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is perhaps one of the most popular self-help books of all time. It suggests that there are 7 key habits that we should all strive to build. The habits are the key to being successful. According to the author, these are the the things we need to do:

Be proactive. Take action and initiative to improve your situation. Don't sit and wait for things to happen.
Begin with the end in mind. Think before acting. Know your long-term goals so that you can effectively work towards them.
First things first. Focus on what is important. Try not to get caught up doing unimportant things.
Think win-win. Look for mutually beneficial solutions that are good for everyone because they have a high-chance for success.
Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Use empathy to better understand others and create a culture of caring.
Synergize. Combining the strengths of different people so that the group can achieve more than any one person could achieve alone.
Sharpen the saw (keep growing). Remember that self-renewal and rest are essential for optimal functioning and success.

More Ways To Build Good Habits

The book, Atomic Habits, suggests even more tips for building good habits. Here are a few:

● Make it obvious. Create cues in your environment to remind you to do your new habit.

● Make it attractive. Try to make the habit something fun or enjoyable.

● Make it easy. Try to make then habit simple, so you can do it more easily.

● Make it satisfying. Find a way to reward yourself for doing you habit.

● Never miss a habit twice in a row. This will keep you on track.

● Stick to a sustainable pace. That way you won't burnout.

● Think about your habit as a way to grow 1% per day. Improving just a little bit each day results in big changes over time.

BJ Fogg, author of Tiny Habits, Offers us a few more tips.

● Attach a new habit to an existing habit. For example, if you want to build a habit to floss, then you can attach it to brushing your teeth. You can use this approach for anything by saying, After I do X, I'll do Y.

● Make the habit tiny. For example, rather than saying you're going to meditate for 5 minutes, start with something like 1 deep breath. He says this makes it easier to accomplish.

● Physically celebrate when you execute your tiny habit. For example, throw your hands up into the air and say "Yes!" This helps your body feel good about the habit.

Some Good Habits to Explore

Good habits tend to be good for the mind and body. Habits of the mind are what help us successfully engage in effective behaviors that lead to success over the long term (Costa & Kallick, 2009). Habits of the body can help keep us strong and healthy. Here are some examples:

Habits of the mind include:

1. Persisting

2. Striving for accuracy

3. Questioning and problem posing

4. Applying past knowledge to new situations

5. Thinking and communicating with clarity and precision

6. Gathering data through all senses

7. Creating, imaging, and innovating

8. Taking responsible risks

9. Finding humor

10. Remaining open to continuous learning

Habits of the body include:

Daily exercise
Good nutrition habits
Drinking 8 glasses of water per day
Getting 8 hours of sleep per night

Beating Bad Habits?

The good (and bad) thing about habits is that after repeatedly engaging in them, they become automatic. That makes it somewhat easier to build good habits, but also harder to break bad ones.

Learning how to break a habit like smoking, drinking, gambling, overeating, or overspending is likely more difficult than starting a new habit. It requires more than building new patterns of behavior—it requires understanding how your existing patterns of behavior benefit you and finding other ways to get those benefits. For example, maybe smoking helps us calm down or drinking helps us feel more social or binging on cookies feels good. So we have to ask ourselves, how do we get these positive outcomes without the habit?

To start, it can be helpful to:

● identify your triggers

● keep yourself away from anything that might make you engage in the habit, and

● be more mindful of your thoughts and actions

Be careful that you don’t end up swapping one bad habit for another. You might ask yourself these questions to better understand what helps and hurts your ability to stick to habits:

Who makes it easier/harder for you to build good habits?
Who makes it easier/harder for you to break bad habits?
What situations make it easier/harder for you to build good habits?
What situations make it easier/harder for you to break bad habits?
Do you have any traits that make it easier/harder for you to build good habits?
Do you have any traits that make it easier/harder for you to break bad habits?

Once you know the things that stand in your way and the things that help you, see if you can make changes in your life that help you create better support structures for the habits you want to build.

References

● Costa, A. L., & Kallick, B. (2009). Habits of mind across the curriculum: Practical and creative strategies for teachers. ASCD.

● Robbins, T. W., & Costa, R. M. (2017). Habits . Current biology, 27(22), R1200-R1206.

Why Does Self-Awareness Matter

Sun, 19 Feb 2023 01:31:11 GMT

Six reasons why self-awareness is important for well-being

High self-awareness is a solid predictor of success in life, perhaps because a self-aware person knows what they want so they can more easily take the steps that get them there. Unfortunately, many of us are on “autopilot,” hardly aware of why we succeed or fail, or why we behave as we do. Our minds are so busy with daily chatter that we usually only self-reflect when something goes awfully wrong. That’s why self-awareness matters. But that’s not the only reason.

Here are some more:

1. Becoming more self-aware can be enlightening

There is so much we don’t know about our inner thoughts and processes that the inward journey at times can be surprising. Sometimes certain phrases come out automatically to reveal attitudes or opinions that we don’t even realize we subscribe to, or even know where they came from.

Over the years of being submerged in a family, a school, various jobs, and a social milieu, we absorb prevailing ideas from our environment, and some of these get buried in our subconscious, where they often don’t get examined until we inadvertently blurt them out, at times to our own embarrassment. This is one good reason why it behooves us to become more self-aware . . . so we can find ourselves and feel more confident that the ideas we are expressing are really our own.

2. Self-awareness can open your mind to new perspectives

As we develop our perspectives they get more rigid and hard to change. But new ideas are refreshing and stimulating, opening our thinking in new and possibly promising directions. Open-mindedness is definitely a plus in being successful at dealing with life’s challenges and diverse situations.

3. Self-awareness can boost self-worth

Very often the opinion we hold of ourselves is based on what others think, or more correctly, on what we think others think about us. If we were criticized often as children, we may develop a case of low self-esteem and sensitivity to rejection. On the other hand, if we were praised as a “prince or princess,” we are likely to develop false self-esteem or arrogance which can be hard our relationships. We owe it to ourselves to become more self-aware of the thoughts and beliefs within and whether they are consistent with reality.

4. Self-awareness can help you look at yourself objectively

Humans tend to be critical beings, whether self-critical or hard on others, and sometimes both. By beating ourselves up, we serve no one and harm our well-being. No one is perfect, so why should we expect ourselves to be?

So learn to cut through the hype and become more objective, especially about yourself. Simply be willing to evaluate yourself as objectively as possible. Be sure not to gloss over what you’d rather not see, but rather mine the subconscious for its opinions and correct the mindsets that are not compatible with your values. You can do this by being completely honest with yourself, and when you find something that is out-of-sync, examine it, remove what isn’t compatible, and insert a better value or phrase to bring the idea in alignment with your personal values.

5. Self-awareness can help you evaluate your strengths and weaknesses

You might say, “I’m a good starter, but I have more difficulty finishing a project.” “It’s easy for me to meet new people, but I have reservations when it comes to commitment.” “I’m a great friend, but I’m not so good at saving money.” We all have strengths and weaknesses. Use your strengths to succeed in life, and your path will be happier, because you will find appreciation and support along the way.

6. Self-awareness can help you set intentions

If we wander through life without purpose or direction, chances are we'll end up nowhere in particular. In order to form an intention, you really need some idea about what is important to you and what you hope to accomplish. It’s not necessary to know how you are going to get there, but you want to have some idea of your general direction. For instance: “I intend to create my own business in __________ (whatever field) and become self-sufficient by age ____”; “I intend to find the right life partner and raise a happy and healthy family together in the country”; “I intend to stand up for myself when my boss puts me down”; etc.

Say your intention out loud, communicating with your inner self, letting yourself know that you intend to create a more meaningful and satisfying life.

Five Quick Stress Busters

Wed, 15 Feb 2023 23:40:35 GMT

How do you react when your plans fall through? Do you roll with the punches? Or does anxiety keep you from enjoying life? To a great extent, our personality determines how we deal with stress in our lives, but here are 5 things to help keep your stress under control:

1 - Sleep more. It’s very common in our society to exist on less than 6 hours of sleep a night. But experts keep telling us we need at least 8 hours. Not just to rest our bodies, but to rejuvenate our minds. “Tired” and “cranky” seem to go hand in hand. Don’t use your bedroom to watch the news or finish up some work from the office. Make that room your haven, a place to relax and escape the day. Have a hot cup of tea, take a warm bath, or read a paperback to help you unwind.

2 - Have faith. Saying a short prayer in times of stress can give you a sense of calm, especially when the situation is one you really have no control over. Studies have shown that people who trust in a higher power have lower blood pressure. Being able to forgive people also can affect your blood pressure. Holding a grudge is not good for your health!

3 - Turn it off. The convenience that cell phones have added to our lives can actually be a double-edged sword. We depend on them so much it seems we can’t live without them. This increased accessibility means not only can our loved ones reach us at any time, but so can work. If your employer legitimately needs to have your cell phone number, make sure you set clear limits on when you can and cannot be reached. Your time off is yours.

4 - Take a mini vacation. It doesn’t have to be a fancy vacation resort. A day at the beach, or an afternoon at the park will do. Just anywhere you can be and not think about the bills, work, or whatever tensions you may have. It’s important to take time for yourself, so do it! You’ll feel better with a fresh outlook.

5 - Treat yourself. Sign up for a yoga class at your local gym or community center. The costs are nominal, and you’ll feel more relaxed after even just one session. A monthly massage or a spa treatment is also a great way to recharge. You’ll walk out feeling like a million dollar bowl of jelly.

Stress is unavoidable. But what we do about it is up to us. Experiment with these suggestions and see what works for you!

Feeling Overwhelmed In Work And Life

Tue, 07 Feb 2023 04:46:17 GMT

Strategies To Find YOUR Unique Balance

I was leading a teleconference this morning with ten interesting, diverse, solo entrepreneurs, consultants and coaches. The hot subject up for discussion was how “overwhelmed,” beat, tired, and burned-out many of the people were feeling due to the “too much to do I can’t stop now” syndrome.

Are you one of those people who can’t seem to stop “doing?”

I have yet to meet anyone who hasn’t felt overwhelmed from time to time. Since it tends to feel uncomfortable, if not downright unpleasant, we tend to view it as negative and as a weakness. We don’t dare to admit we are overwhelmed or dare to talk about it, which can leave us feeling isolated and alone, further exacerbating the feeling. We often deny we are overwhelmed because we do not know how to stop the frenetic behavior that leads to this feeling. So we do nothing. Why do we do this to ourselves? Primarily, this syndrome occurs in our work life but it can carry over to our personal and family life, and it frequently does.

Focusing on projects often begins with good intentions but we can quickly and easily be overwhelmed if we do not have a plan to minimize and balance our work. Getting the project finalized for your team, writing the copy for your website, designing the new sales brochure or completing the 90-day marketing plan are extremely important – but having a balanced, healthy life is equally important.

This stressful pattern is telling you to change your life! Once you get this message, it is easier to identify the steps you need to take to shift out of the behavior quickly.

Following are helpful strategies gleaned from my personal experience and from my work with coaching clients who are burned out, growing cranky, frustrated and even depressed. These strategies immediately diminish feelings of being overwhelmed so you can refocus and make some work/life balance decisions.

- Stop what you are doing for a few minutes and take a break. Go for a short walk, sit outside under a tree, meditate, breathe deeply, go to a movie, call a friend to have coffee and share what is going on.

- Get a piece of paper and make two columns. In one column, list urgent things you need to do this week. In the other column, list those projects that you can delegate, hire or barter to be done.

- Eliminate, eliminate, eliminate. Unsubscribe to unnecessary e-mail, organize your desk and office to decrease clutter, stop attending meetings, get off committees and decrease volunteering at fundraisers unless you have a total passion for the organization and the cause.

- Do not spend time with people whom you do not like. Assess your friends and business colleagues. Do they support and honor who you are? If they are negative and don’t share your vision for your dreams, don’t spend another minute with them.

- Decide what is most important in your life. If you want a balanced life, you will have to make changes in your life to allow this to happen. That takes some time and planning but it will be well worth the improvement in your life!

- Take an action step today to make a change in your life! Call a friend who will support you, take a class to get organized, or work with a coach who will support and motivate you to have a more balanced life.

Mind Power: Tap the Magnificent Power of Your Subconscious Mind!

Tue, 07 Feb 2023 04:41:14 GMT

Creating The Life You Want

I am sure those of you who have read self-help books, hypnosis books, and the probability of you encountering this mysterious word called “subconscious mind” are pretty high. So, you hope that the book that you are reading will provide you with a satisfactory explanation of what the subconscious mind is. Unfortunately, the book does not touch on the topic of the subconscious mind. Do not go sleepless over this question, as this amazing article will tell you what you really need to know about the subconscious mind. So, what in the world is the subconscious mind?

Another name for the subconscious mind is sleeping mind or the unconscious mind. Both names arise due to the fact that you have completely no awareness that your subconscious mind exists. Your subconscious mind is a very hardworking mind as it stores almost every single experience in your life. The information that it stores can either be helpful or destructive as the data in your subconscious mind ultimately forms the foundation of your belief system. The beliefs that you have will determine how you lead your life. Now that you have a brief understanding of what the subconscious mind is and the power of it, I shall tell you how to make full use of your subconscious mind.

- Creative Visualization

Before you head off to your dreamland every night, spend 5 minutes every day visualizing your goals and ambitions. Imagine yourself already achieving it and feel the emotions that you will feel when you achieve it. This simple and easy exercise is super effective in eliminating any negative emotions that hindered your path to obtaining your goals. The time before you head off to sleep is the perfect time to do this exercise as this is the time when your mind is most willing to accept new information. The next step to unlocking the potential of your subconscious mind is doing positive self-affirmations.

- Positive Self-affirmations

Every single morning, repeat your life aims to yourself with an enthusiastic tone. You need to say it passionately as only this way that your brain will register what you say. The longer you practice doing positive affirmations, the more you believe in your goals and you already have reprogrammed your subconscious mind so that you can achieve it.

- Subliminal Programming

Spend about 10 to 20 minutes every day listening and watching subliminal videos or podcasts. These audios can improve your life but you need to listen to them on a regular basis. The downside is that the effect is temporary so you need to listen to them daily. They are also very convenient to listen to as they are portable. You can place them in your mp3s and listen to them while working out. While driving your car, you can also listen to them.

- Creating a Positive Environment

Choose a place where you regularly work. This could be your study room or your workplace. Then, put up positive and motivational posters. The more posters you put up , the fewer negative thoughts you will think of and the faster your subconscious mind will internalize those positive beliefs. Your mind is an unbelievable thing; it will go on an autopilot to pick up those positive phrases in your posters. Soon, you will feel easily energized in your workplace and get things down quickly. Do the above faithfully and I can assure you that you will see the results very soon.

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Setting Intentions for the New Year: Dreaming With Purpose, Moving With Care

The start of a new year often arrives carrying a quiet question: How do I want to live this next chapter of my life?

The Hidden Effects of Loneliness on Mind & Body

The Weight Was Never Yours: A Healing Invitation for Black Women

For generations, Black women have been expected to carry it all.

Trust and Confidence Go Hand In Hand

Building Confidence, and Learning to Trusting Yourself Through Challenges

What Is Self-Care and Why Do You Need It

We cannot pour from empty vessels

What Is Peer Support

Reaching out to others in a nonjudgmental way

How Avoidance Actually Creates More Stress

5 Techniques to Help You Relax More

Learn more about relaxation and techniques for slowing down.

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Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Meditation

Massage

Yoga

Music and Sounds

Summary

References

How To Build Good Habits

Multiple Strategies To Build Good Habits and Tips To Break Bad Habits

Habits of Highly Effective People

More Ways To Build Good Habits

Some Good Habits to Explore

Beating Bad Habits?

References

Why Does Self-Awareness Matter

Six reasons why self-awareness is important for well-being

Five Quick Stress Busters

Feeling Overwhelmed In Work And Life

Strategies To Find YOUR Unique Balance

Mind Power: Tap the Magnificent Power of Your Subconscious Mind!

Creating The Life You Want

The start of a new year often arrives carrying a quiet question:
How do I want to live this next chapter of my life?